Follow These Ten Dating Commandments If You Want a Second Date

Dating tips from an actual expert

BY: Rachel Khona
UPDATE: April 24, 2024

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Rachel Khona is our resident Men’s Lifestyle editor where she brings more than 10 years of editorial experience writing, reviewing, and recommending dating and sex advice for just about everyone. Rachel’s articles can be found on major publications like Maxim, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Bustle, Style Caster, Playboy, Penthouse and more.

Ah, the delicate dance of the first date. One misstep can lead to a curtain call on your rendez-vous. Guys, listen up because we’re about to let you in on the Ten Commandments of first-date behavior. These include cardinal sins, unforgivable errors, and the absolute don’ts, that if committed, will leave you standing alone at the end of the evening with nothing to hold onto other than your regret and tears. So, steel your nerves and get ready to learn the Ten Commandments of first-dates. Heed our lessons, and you may just secure that second date.

10 DON'TS & DO'S

Don't Talk About Yourself the Entire Time

LISTEN TOO!

Save the monologue for acting class, Romeo. The art of conversation is a balance between two people, not open mic night at the comedy club. Your date doesn’t want to listen to you drone on about how amazing you are. In addition to learning about you, they would also like you to express interest in them. Get curious about their life and let the conversation flow organically. Who knows, maybe they have a hidden talent for tap dancing or love collecting pens from around the world.

Don't Pick a Bar Right Next to Your Place

WE SEE YOU

Sure, picking a bar that’s basically your next-door neighbor is convenient. But this move is as subtle as wearing a neon sign that says, “I want to bone you and I’m too lazy to go anywhere that isn’t near me.” Not exactly the move that’s going to turn them on. So spread your wings, Cassanova. Be a gentleman and find a spot halfway or near them. Perhaps you’ll discover a new favorite spot away from the safe cocoon of home.

Don't Offer Advice On Their Personal Life

FOR REAL

They’re telling you about their family and career, and next thing you know, you’re channeling your inner Dr. Phil, doling out advice like a life coach. Giving unsolicited advice to someone you barely know is like trying to fix a clogged toilet with a hammer – foolish and not likely to end well. Your date isn’t looking for a therapist; they’re looking for a romantic spark. Empathy and good listening skills are your friends when someone is giving you a glimpse into their life. Stick to silly childhood stories and whether or not pineapple on pizza is sacrilege. Your date should appreciate your charm and wit and not your counseling skills.

Don't Talk About Your Ex

PLEASE TRY

Talking about your ex is up there with talking about your collection of underwear with holes – it’s awkward, and no one wants to know. Your date isn’t interested in your connection with your ex; they’re interested in your connection with them. They don’t want to hear that your ex is crazy or psycho; they’re likely to wonder what you did to make them act that way. No one wants to feel that their date is hung up on a former flame, either negatively or wistfully. Leave the ex-files closed and watch the conversation flow smoother than a freshly poured drink. Trust, your date will thank you for keeping the spotlight where it belongs—on the two of you, right here and now.

Stop Future Talking

UNLESS YOU'RE A LEGIT PSYCHIC

Hold onto your crystal ball, Mr. Psychic; talking about the future on a first date is way too soon. Not only can it be seen as manipulative, but it’s also delulu and bound to leave your date rolling their eyes. Your date isn’t ready to sign a mortgage with you. They’re with you to enjoy the present and see where things go. So, take your foot off the gas pedal and focus on the present. Letting your future unfold naturally will be something you both appreciate in the long run.

Don't Show Up Sloppy

JOE

Only Beyonce can say “I woke up like this.” The rest of us mere mortals must put some effort into our look, particularly on a date. Your date isn’t expecting Jason Momoa but they are expecting you to be neat, clean, and occasion-appropriate and not like you just left the gym. You want to say, “I’m there to impress” not “I just rolled out of bed.” And don’t forget when you look good, you feel good.

Do Not Keep Checking Your Phone

PUT IT AWAY

You may be more popular than Taylor Swift, but constantly checking your phone tells your date an electronic device is more interesting than them. Your date deserves your full attention and if you want to see them again, you’ll want to make sure they have it. So, cool your jets, Sir-Text-A-Lot, and keep your phone in your pocket where it belongs. Engage with the real-life human in front of you and enjoy the magic of actual connection. Hard as it may be to believe, the world will not stop spinning if you don’t check your phone for a few hours.

Do Not Arrive Late

PLAN AHEAD

Arriving fashionably late may work for a house party, but not on a first date. Your date’s time is just as sacrosanct as yours. Don’t get the date started off on the wrong foot because of poor time management. So, instead of making them wait and wonder if they’ve been stood up, why not be the guy who arrives on time or, even better, a few minutes early? It shows respect and responsibility and sets the tone for a great time ahead. Plus, who knows, you might earn some bonus points for being the punctuality champ!

DO Have a Backup Plan

you never know

Alright, you’ve planned the perfect date, but as it turns out the bar is closed for a private party. Now what? Time for a backup plan because life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it. So, instead of being caught off guard like a deer in headlights, why not have a plan B up your sleeve? Maybe it’s a nearby café for a cozy chat or a stroll through a nearby park if the weather’s nice. Having a backup plan not only shows you’re prepared, but it also demonstrates your adaptability and creativity.

Do Not Make Any Sexual Suggestions

NO, REALLY

The drinks and the convo are flowing like a lazy river on a summer day when suddenly you decide now is the perfect time to let them know you like one of their naughty bits. Abort mission! Unless you’re both there for a one-nighter, it’s best to leave the sexy talk for another time. Instead of veering into steamy territory, keep things light and playful. Share stories, crack jokes, and let the chemistry simmer naturally. There will be plenty of time for naughty banter down the road, but for now, let’s keep it PG.

In conclusion, navigating the maze of a first date can feel like finding your way through a funhouse—full of twists, turns, and surprises. But armed with these pearls of wisdom, you’re better equipped to emerge victorious, unscathed by the pitfalls that await the unprepared. With a dash of charm, a sprinkle of wit, and a lot of authenticity, you’ll be ready to conquer the dating world with confidence.

Rachel Khona

Rachel is one of our Men's Style + Grooming contributors here at Brostrick.com, where she uses her unique sense of humor (that we love) combined with her love all things style and, well, ridiculousness to connect to our readers. Rachel has written endless articles at major publishers like AskMen, Maxim, Playboy, Thrillist, The Washington Post, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Elle Magazine, and so much more. Read full bio.

Tagged: men's health

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Follow These Ten Dating Commandments If You Want a Second Date

10 DON'TS & DO'S